I remember sitting in church with my son, who was about 18 months old. An older woman came up to me, played with him for a few minutes, then turned and said something like, “He’s a good little boy, now. Wait until he hits 2.” Shocked, I simply smiled and thought once again, old women can be annoying.
And then he hit 2.
As his behavior became more difficult, we sought more doctors’ advice. Most played the ADHD key, some depression, some anxiety. We spent our days dealing with difficult mental, emotional and physical issues and trying various medications, but nothing took.
As a mother, I felt something was missing in the diagnosis and kept looking for the thing that would make it all click. Finally, we found a specialist and the right diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome.
My son was 7 years old.
Now he is 19 and serving a service mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Last year he went to BYU-Idaho — doing his own laundry, meals (even nutritious ones), schedule, and in general making his own life happen.
How did he go from terrible twos to self-sufficient 19? I am no expert and have zero advice. However, besides prayer, trial and error, and a village of good people, here are a few things that worked for us.
- Build a solid relationship with mom.In speaking with different doctors, they have told me this is No. 1 for Aspies (their term for people with the disorder). A connected, healthy, positive relationship with mom is key for these kids to create connection, understand social savvy, and trust the often foreign information they’re learning. Plenty of positive is huge; writing a list of the great things about your child is helpful. You could also institute a “praise first” policy before sharing a to-do or correction.
To read more of Connie’s Blog Post at Motherhood Matters KSL, click here.
