Make a Change Joyfully/ConnieQ

[Check out our winner from last week’s ConnieQ, and a shout out for a social media mom who would like to work with Back to Basics—see below!]
While speaking at Education Week, I talked about the power of change and quoted Benjamin Woodhouse who suggested we start doing ONE thing a day that is a positive, and stop doing ONE thing a day that isn’t a positive. This made change doable and enjoyable, just one of each, and focus on moving forward.

A sweet gal later approached me and shared her struggle to give up diet soda. She had tried different ways and even drinking different kinds. She would last at the most one month, white-knuckling through the “withdrawal” period, but ultimately return to the same habit. At the time she was excited to challenge herself again.

After she left, I felt a nagging feeling that I wanted her to know she didn’t have to white-knuckle. That in fact, that is a sure sign we will return to our old ways. Granted, some people—though very few—can do things cold turkey and it works for them. And some things in life require cold turkey in order to truly let them go. But most people, and most situations, are best served by a gradual change—lessening one bad habit while replacing it with another good one.

Then she emailed me these thoughts: “The biggest emotion I’m feeling today is fear. I have tried several times in the past year to quit and have been successful for [a time]…I know I feel better when I don’t drink soda, but for some reason, I keep going back! I’m afraid that this will be a never-ending cycle in my life. I don’t want it to be.” I considered emailing her the above thoughts but didn’t want to seem invasive.

Beautifully, we randomly ran into each other at a restaurant. As we talked I was thrilled that she had already discovered this “keep it balanced” experience. She shared that in addition to her soda goal, she’d lost ten pounds by not being super stringent, but by staying with a plan, AND, having a little here and there to satiate those diminishing but still present cravings. Kudos to her! Lastly, she emailed me this experience:

“I think I was living life with my food/soda addiction as if it had to be all or nothing. [Listening to a man’s talk], he said that when he was playing basketball he played as if he was going to get cut. His coach said to him, ‘You are already on the team. Just play and try to get better.’ I really thought at times that I was a failure when I had a burger instead of a salad, or a soda instead of water. I think that food for me will always be something that I’ll have to work on…I’m already on His team. I just have to work on getting better… One day at a time.”

Yes, that’s it! Having a focus, staying with it, and doing a little each day to make that change a reality within yourself. As you do, change occurs on several levels, a layered experience, and we feel a shift in our soul and perspective.

My ConnieQ for this week is, “What is one positive habit you can begin to add, OR, one negative habit you can begin to eliminate this week?”

Give it a try. A little here, a little there, and you’ll be surprised how quickly change adds up.
Best,
Connie
*Winner of the ConnieQ! Thank you for sharing your wonderful responses to the ConnieQ and challenge to do something good, new, or challenging. I’m sharing a couple here as it was hard to decide. The gift of a free download goes to Tanya Harmon—enjoy!
“I so loved your [post] today.  It hit home in the biggest way.  I hate exercise in the worst way but it is what I need most so that is what I am going to do.  I walked for a half hour this morning.  I don’t feel better just hot and sweaty.  But I am going to try and keep at it.  That is my thing for something I need to do for me.  I am my biggest obstacle!” Lynne T.
“Doing good is something my neighbors have done a lot for me recently. I am very sick with cancer. Between taking care of me, other family members and working 70 plus hours a week my husband has no time. A neighbor brought us dinner the other night just because she thought about us. She did good. She said it was just a little thing but for us it was a BIG thing. Amazing how someone just had a thought to do good and it really helped us. Made me feel happy that someone was thinking about us and we weren’t in this alone.”
And from the winner, Tanya H.:
“Two weeks ago, when school began at BYU, I decided to take two classes. Ever since I started taking classes, I have felt happier, more excited about life, and more fulfilled.  I love the classes and it’s been great that I actually HAVE TO go to class, so I can’t skip out and just keep working (which is what I have a tendency to do).
When I began the classes, I was worried about keeping up on the homework (still am!) and didn’t know how it would go.  But I’ve discovered that it gives me a lift to be in class. I think that my family will be blessed in a number of ways. It has been the best thing ever to take on something new and just go for it.”
*Looking for a social media mom with a few hours to spare for Back to Basics! Jill and I have maxed out our few hours a week availability and still be happy moms, and need a little more help. If you are social media savvy (Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, GoodReads, Twitter), we would love to connect! Email me@conniesokol.com a short bio about yourself, and a resume sharing your credentials and/or experience. About 2-4 flexible hours a week, pay DOE, and can begin this month. Enjoy helping women and families through social media!