The other day after my Studio 5 segment I had the pleasure of going to lunch with authors Jennifer Nielsen and Rachelle Christensen. Both are talented writers with national agents. As we spoke about balancing our dreams with being a woman, wife and mother, here are a few things we shared and agreed on.
1. Create your core and stick to it. Our cores were the same—first God, then family, then dreams. What was amazing is that each of us had held to that core, and over the years our opportunities had continued to grow. As Jennifer said, “Make your bargain with God.” Tell Him your desires then commit to your part of it to keep what matters most first. As mothers, we daily get to do both—family and dreams—but we’ll be fulfilled only as long as we put it in the right sequence.
2. Go for the big dream. Jennifer encouraged us to not pare down but go for the one we really wanted. As she spoke, I realized I had held back on a particular dream because I couldn’t automatically see a way to do it that worked with my family. But an idea came to me that would not only work, but be a blessing to our children. That’s the beauty of talking with good women (and over good food).
3. Allow your family to be a part of it. Like most women, I’ve tried to pre-empt any negative impact from what I do for others on my family time. Translation, early hours, late hours, hurrying to finish before kids get home. And while I stand by this, I’ve also learned over the years to involve my family. To let them be in the mix, hands in the thick of it, kneading the dough and helping it rise so to speak. Instead of worrying about inconveniencing my kids or spouse, I’ve had to learn to let them be a part of it, as a memory maker, and we ultimately share the triumphs and tragedies together. Whether it’s been hauling book boxes into a conference, delivering flyers on the four-wheeler (all five of us at the time), or counting out change at a presentation/book signing, my children are learning life skills.My daughter just gave a talk in our church, and afterwards I had many people come up to me and say, “She was such a presence, she commanded the audience.” She is thirteen. Though she is her own person, I know that being with me on speaking assignments has helped her to learn how to carry herself and articulate her thoughts a little better. So don’t make your dream and your family parallel lives. Keep everyone in the thrill of the adventure and you’ll find 1 + 1 = 5,235.
4. Be flexible. As I’ve made and used my Life Boards over the years, I’m constantly amazed how my dreams are achieved but in a different way than I had planned. Like my dream to do radio. I’ve done a radio show for KSL in downtown Salt Lake City, an award-winning online radio show that reached 52 countries, and podcasts recorded right in my home and sent to my techie guy for perfecting. All three ways have reflected the opportunity and best way for radio to work in my life at the given time.
For 8-week Challengers, you’ve spent the past week on creating a Life Plan. Hooray! I hope these have given you, and everyone, a few ideas on how to better love and live it.
Best,
Connie
CONGRATULATIONS! Our Week 2 Winner of the 8-week Challenge is Laura Collis. She wins a FREE download of her choice on www.conniesokol.com.
