Balance reDefined Radio Episode 58
(The following is the transcript of the podcast.)
Hi, I’m Connie Sokol, a national speaker, bestselling author, program founder, and mother of seven and loving it. I’m reaching and teaching 1 million listeners to live a purposeful, organized, and joyful life. You can too. So let’s go.
Welcome back to Balance reDefined. It’s Connie Sokol and I’m so happy you’re back for more. Today we are talking about abundance mentality. Specifically how do you get results in your life with an abundance mentality? Because I hear people say to me all the time, well, you know, I’ve been thinking real happy thoughts and I’m not seeing a shift or, well, I’ve been tryin’ to let go of that negativity and nothing’s really changing.
So that’s not really what we’re talking about.
So what is the difference of using an abundance mentality in your life and does it really work? Do you really get results?
Yes, you do.
But you have to have a couple of things to move that into your life and in a specific way so that you’re not just saying, well, I’m thinking a few happy thoughts and boy, I’m going to see some change. It’s not like that.
So let me give you a couple of tips today that can help you get down that abundance mentality path and be walking along that instead of wondering and being confused.
First and foremost, what is an abundance mentality?
So for me, my definition is first, what it isn’t is it’s not okay, my house burned down and I go, well yeah, we hit a little snag, but you know, it’s all good. It’s not like that. It’s not being a Pollyanna, it’s not ignoring what is real in your life and what is difficult. It’s not that at all. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s acknowledging those things, and then here’s the big kicker: It’s intentionally choosing and creating your ideal life.
So you go, Oh yeah, I got that. I got this job that maybe I don’t really care so much about her I really don’t like, or I’ve got this relationship that’s really a struggle right now and it’s definitely a struggle. It’s not just in your mind and you’re just being sensitive. You’ve got these big issues. So then you go, okay, so what would I ideally want in my life? If I had a little magic wand, what would that look and feel like? Because if we don’t know what we want, guess what? We’re not going to get it and we’re going to be disappointed in our lives simply because we weren’t able to envision the kind of ideal life we wanted.
So having an abundance mentality is really getting into that headspace and
So very first and foremost, that is the first thing to do, which is to get specific. So being specific means that you are writing down words, ideas, situations. You’re, you’re writing down specifics of what you can see, your ideal life would look and feel like and become. And it’s a place in your heart, in your mind that you want to spend time with. You really want to know what it looks and feels like in specific terms.
So if for example, you’re going to ask yourself, oh, what’s an ideal-my ideal life? What does it look like to me?
What are you doing?
What are you wearing?
What are you eating?
Who are you with?
What are you talking about?
What activities are you enjoying?
What places are you going to, what are those specifics?
So that you can start seeing it in your mind’s eye. I know there was a gentleman who was wanting to do an opera and he had it so specific. He had it right down to when the light shone on the Red Velvet Curtain before it opened — his opera opened. You could see the little dust mites in the stage light as it was lighting on that velvet curtain.
I mean really specific, right down to it. I know when I’ve seen things in my mind, I’ve imagined myself on a certain stage and I know what the audience looks like and I know what I’m wearing and I know what that stage set up is like, so it’s very specific in my mind.
Now, this is also for everyday life things, not necessarily just a business or a, a dream, but also for everyday life. I envision my children’s specifically in a kind of future that I think I know that they want for them and I want for them too. And I envision that right down to what we’re laughing about, trips that we take, the things I’m helping them move forward on the things that they’re doing on their own, the kind of apartment that they want. All of those things cause we were having those conversations.
Now it’s really a thing of beauty because as you help them be more specific, they start looking for and being aware of things already in their lives that are leading them along and opportunities that come to them. So for example, one of my daughters loves to animate, draw, and do art and we were talking about several months ago about her looking into scholarships and what can she do, um, what kind of a life she wants to have in the future. What does that drawing and art career look like? Can she sustain a family with it is it something she can do at home or outside of the home? Is it something that will be flexible for her? Will it be the kind of thing that keeps her growing and what are some of the functional parts of that maybe she needs to do digital, you know, advertising or social media graphics just to get her started in the industry but where is her ultimate ending that she wants to go helping her to think of these things?
Well, she started off doing some animation for me for some of my presentations. Beautiful, fabulous stuff that people come up
The more specific that you can get, the better.
Now along the lines with that, the second thing is you need to feel a connection, a connection with that abundance mentality. Picture in your mind, what does that connection, how does that feel for you to be there on a deeper level?
Can you feel the ocean waves on your toes?
Can you feel the laughter of talking with the person you’re laughing with?
Can you feel the excitement of being able to accomplish that presentation?
Can you feel the celebration of having that diploma in your hand?
Can you feel the energy in the room when you are doing that performance?
Can you feel what it is?
So start thinking about the feelings that you’re going to have there and make them specific and really go deep with it. Make sure you can feel whatever it is that is happening there.
You’re feeling on a deeper level. You’re really in your abundance mentality and your practice. You’re giving yourself a moment to feel joy, feel happiness, feel celebration, feel success. You’re giving yourself a moment to feel that ‘kay?
And then the third thing is can you feel the outcome as if it’s now and who you’re sharing it with. So that outcome, like I was saying, if it’s graduation, it’s not way down the line after 52 steps, you feel the graduation, now. You feel that you’re at the Tedx talk now. You feel that you just got that promotion now. You feel that you’re at the wedding of your child now. That outcome is as if it’s happening now. You see that finish line as if it’s happening today. That’s how close this outcome experience is. So this third piece is really experiencing the outcome as if it’s now and all the details of that.
Maybe even what happens after you have that experience. Boy, graduating means that that that one college has really interested me and being able to get my masters or that job promotion now puts me in this spot for me to get that corner office that I’ve wanted or to get that, um, work-life balance that I’ve wanted to make that happen, now. That outcome is happening now.
So consider what those are and then what that outcome even does for you from there, maybe it just puts you in a better position in some fashion, whether it’s in work, in life, in
Now, how you kind of tie these all together is what I call a meditation movie, and it’s the funniest thing in the world. If you do it first thing, when you’re coming out of your first morning, you’re just kind of, oh, it’s a little sleepy and you’re just coming into that wakefulness.
That’s a beautiful time to do your meda-meditation movie because you’re, your subconscious brain is in a really receptive state and that’s something you definitely want to do before you go to sleep at night. That’s another great thing. You starting to maybe take some deep breaths. You’re getting nice and sleepy and just before you’re dropping off. That’s how you’re dropping off is doing this meditation movie. You are just meditating on this experience and you’re being specific, you’re feeling the connection and you’re experiencing the outcome as if it’s now and as you watch that meditation movie and allow yourself to feel it, you will start seeing some amazing results and as you do that, write that in your journal. If you can have a pen to paper connection about what you’re doing, that will help so much. That’s what I do actually to start. I’m right out what that meditation movie will look like and then I review that until it’s kind of in my mind, body, and soul and then I can just watch it in my head and this works.
In fact, I had something that I was doing a meditation movie about just in the last month and it was fantastic. After three weeks or so of doing this meditation movie, I actually had the result I wanted, which was the caliber of women coming into the program and I actually tripled my monthly income. And so it wasn’t just a money question, but it was combined with the kind of women I wanted to help in my programs be able to move forward in their lives specifically in different ways of being a writer and a speaker and a media personality. I really wanted to help them in specific ways and wanted to help a specific um, kind of woman who really had a certain drive and a certain interest and she was at a certain readiness and that is exactly what happened. It was actually pretty incredible how it all worked out.
So as you go along and do this, I want you to consider that when you’re doing this abundance mentality, you’re going to feel like nothing’s really happening for a while and that’s okay. Just keep doing your meditation. Just keep saying your prayer to your divine influence, I pray to my Heavenly Father to God, whatever that looks like for you. Keep doing those things. And you’re, you’re building that compound effect that I’ve talked about that Darren Hardy talks about. That compound effect is working for you even when you don’t know it, so keep out the negative thoughts. Those are weeds in your abundance mentality garden. They are bloopers in your abundance mentality meditation movie. You really want to keep those out.
Now, it’s not that you aren’t going to look at things and say, well, I got to deal with this or I’ve got to adjust this. That’s absolutely, those are life things. Maybe you want to shift what you have in your meditation movie. Maybe you’ve got a new thing that happened and you want to add that in to address it so that you can adjust the way that you’re praying or meditating about this, but get rid of those negative influences because it will not help you.
Now, one of those negative influences, maybe. That are holding you back, maybe a lack of forgiving someone now in the book, The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, he talks a lot about when we have not truly forgiven someone, then it actually acts as an obstacle to our own moving forward to our own abundance, and I have found that in my life as well. And in fact recently had an experience where there was a person that I had thought I had forgiven pretty much most everything and yet there was some things that, um, some different situations that occurred that brought a couple of those things up a nd I realized, wow, I still had a little work to do. And at first I have to tell you honestly, I really didn’t feel like doing it. I
was like, I’ve already forgiven and I’ve already kind of done this stuff. I don’t think that’s really it. And it took me a little bit to realize, no, I had kind of a profound experience that just showed me, no, this is holding you back and it’s only holding you back and no one else, and is it hit me, you know what? I got to let this go.
I’ve got to let it fully and completely go. And the way that he recommended it in his book is to say, “Peace, be unto you” and wish for their success.
In fact, he says that the way you’ll know how you have really forgiven someone is if you really can wish them success genuinely and when you hear about their success that you’re happy for them. Yeah. I know depending on what you’ve experienced and I’m talking about, I’ve, I’ve gone through a few things in life that are just not that pretty. Now, I know there are people listening who have gone through horrific, horrific things. I’ve had a few things in my childhood, in my life that I would put down as really not things want to go back to ever, but I’m grateful truly that I went through them because it helps me be able to reach women in really, really difficult situations. But I know that there are people listening and who will say, come on, I, I’m, I’m still working on it. And you know what?
That’s great.
Every step that you make is fantastic.
But what triggered it for me is I was scrolling through, I don’t usually scroll on social media, but I was scrolling through looking for one of my posts because of a particular reason. And I saw a thing from, uh, an Auschwitz Holocaust survivor and she had been one of the experiments of Doctor Mengele and if you know anything about him, just one of the most brutal, horrible people that we know of in history of the intentional cruelty and brutality that he perpetrated on completely innocent people, and um, as you listened to her story, you really feel this sense of her, um, being able to overcome that.
So she grappled with how to forgive this Nazi doctor and she worked with her friend who was an English professor and they drafted this beautiful letter and they worked and worked at it and they got it done, and this English professor turned to her and said, it’s a really nice letter, but your problem is not with the Nazi doctor, it’s with Mengele, and she was like, ah.
And the English professor said, I want you to do something when you go home tonight and imagine that Mengele is in your living room and I want you to forgive him. And she said, I’ll try it. So she went home and she said, “I did not do that. I went home, I got a dictionary. I looked up 20 nasty words and I said those out loud and then I said, in spite of that I forgive you.” And it was really a powerful moment. She said, I could let it go. And she said, just like that for the first time in 50 years I could let go of Auschwitz and as I listened to that, I thought, you know, this thing seems pretty small and I can let it go.
And so I started saying, “peace be unto you and I wish you every success” and I have to tell you it wasn’t. But a day later, maybe two, that I started seeing some really huge things happen with this abundance mentality, really, truly. And I knew that that had been one of the pieces that I needed to get rid of my rock in the road to be able to experience the abundance mentality result of that I was really looking for.
So I still encourage you, if you aren’t feeling like I’m struggling with this abundance mentality–I’m not seeing the results that I want. Go through these three things. Be specific, feel a connection, actually allow yourself to feel the feeling and then experience the outcome as if it’s now experience it as if it’s now and then make that meditation movie.
Write it out, think about it in your mind and then really watch that movie when you first start to come into wakefulness and when you really get ready to go to bed and start to kind of head off into sleepiness.
Those are great times for you to watch those movies in fact I’m, when I’m teaching this class, I love this quote from Dr. Joseph Murphy that’s in the book The Power of the Subconscious Mind, because I shared this with the ladies too, he says, “if you are writing a novel, play, or book or are working on an invention, speak to your subconscious mind at night and claim boldly that it’s wisdom, intelligence, and power are guiding, directing, and revealing to you the ideal play, novel, book, or are revealing the perfect solution. Whatever it may be, wonders will happen as you pray this way. Isn’t that beautiful?
So invite your divine influence, God, the universe, higher power, whatever that might be for you, and invite them to help you to create this with your subconscious mind, the solutions and the way that this abundance mentality movie is going to actually play out for you.
And I can promise you that wonders can abound.
So share it below with us in the comments, let us know what you’ve learned. Let us know how it turns out, would absolutely love to hear what you’re experiencing.
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