The other day some friends and I were talking (not complaining, mind you) about certain children who continually interrupt their mothers, siblings, and basically, any human life form, with immediate, urgent, CANNOT WAIT demands for vitally important things like, “I need you to help me decide RIGHT NOW which precious pony book I should choose for my book order for this Friday”. Or, “I can’t find the silver belt that goes with my outfit for next Tuesday”. Or, “I need help finding my worm that I put outside last week”.
I’m happy to say that not only did we discover that between four mothers that EACH of us had had an exact same experience with this annoyance, but that we found a solution.
One of the moms shared what she had learned from her large, he-man contractor foreman brother. On a certain day one of the subcontractors, trying to establish his turf, asked the foreman to have some debris moved. It wasn’t in the sub’s way but he wanted it moved anyway. Wisely, her brother didn’t get into an argument or debate the significance of the request or even the timing. He simply said that each sub on his job site got one “buy”—meaning, one request that this foreman did not have to necessarily fulfill, but that he would. But there was only one. And then he proceeded to ask the sub, Is this the one you want as your buy?
After she shared this, I believe I heard angelic bells. What a fabulous concept! Instead of trying to contain my frustration at constant said interruptions, I could simply, lovingly say—I can do one non-essential interruption for you today. That’s all. And, are you sure this is the one you want? Because with seven children at home, if each person only had one non-essential interruption, I’m hoping at least for sanity, which is more than being on a constant on-call alert.
So perhaps this week try setting a simple boundary on how many fires you will put out in a day (or week) through establishing a clear limit on urgent, right now, precious pony choosing requests.
Best,
Connie
P.S. This week’s BasicQ is: “What is one way you have set a healthy boundary with your children?” Email it to me@conniesokol.com and it automatically enters you to win a free download of your choice!
P.P.S. Thank you to all who helped raise $250 for our Primary Children’s Hospital fundraiser! We appreciate your willingness to help others in need.
