Pearls from Paris: Seeing your Children as People

I’ll admit it: sometimes I see my children as my children, and not necessarily as individuals in their own right. It’s my fault. We get in a daily rythmn–breakfast, school, snack, homework, chores, dinner, play time, family time, bedtime and sleep. I can generally guess their answers to certain questions (“How was English/Young Women’s/hanging with friends?”) and responses to certain requests (“It’s not my mess,” “I did it last time,” “Five more minutes?”).
Being with Chelsea on this trip has been both enlightening and touching. We are not just mother and daughter, but traveling companions, assistant and model, and laughing, goofy friends. We’ve had to navigate enormous train stations with a baby, luggage, and very little French. We’ve had to be flexible–trading off as we care for Bryson and food preparations, our sightseeing expectations (i.e. drive by Notre Dame instead of experiencing it), and new skills with modeling.
As I watched her during the sessions, I kept reminding myself that she was my daughter–this beautiful, even-keeled, professional girl of thirteen. She took direction, sat in difficult poses for extended periods of time, and remained at ease while seven women photographed her. Cool as a cucumber, I could not get over that this was her first real modeling shoot on-site. She seemed so much older, wiser, and mature, definitely more than her mom. It sounds corny but suddenly I saw her getting older, going on a mission and to college, getting married…It seemed very, very fast, and I felt a real sadness. Not at her moving on, but more of leaving me behind, in that growing up way.
Ironically, after she finished the session, she hurried over to me smiling and like her usual Chelsea–girl self–“That was so fun!” Suddenly, the tweener girl was back. And I felt a happy familiarity, and relief, that this phase wasn’t done just yet.
I’ve seen that pattern, and welcome it, this girl/young woman switching of moods or abilities. As she outgrows her childlike cocoon, I see her excitedly embracing the more adult phase of her life, but still keeping a toe in the comforting ways that ground her.
It’s a unique and sacred joy to share this moment in time with her, this changing of the guard between girl and young woman. And to share it together, in Paris, in a way that neither of us will forget.
Best,
Connie
To view more of Connie’s Paris adventures with pictures, click “Like” on her Facebook Page.
Top photograph of Chelsea by www.violetrayphotography.com