I want to share with you my Parenting Paradox, in case you experience this also. It goes something like this:
Why is it that one minute life is good, kids do homework, chores get done (80% but fine by me), and we’re all eating, joking, and playing a board game. Life is good.
Then the very next minute, the four-wheeler key is lost, the liquid candle scenter gets knocked over AGAIN splattering wax over the living room couches, and homework suddenly disappears that is due TOMORROW? Each incident is followed by loud wailing, hormonal fits, and pointed fingers. And I think, are these the same children, the fruit of my loins?
On the same vein, why do I one minute feel great and deep love for these same children, writing in my journal about their general awesomeness and specific kindnesses only to turn around the next minute and raise my voice (can I use the word “yell”?), and ironically about how they’re treating each other? Most recently when this happened, I had just made a goal, THAT VERY DAY to be more patient with my children.
What was happening to me? What was I to learn? You know very well what I was to learn-NEVER MAKE A GOAL TO BE MORE PATIENT WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
These are other paradoxes (paradoxi?) that bother me. Other such as why does a bathroom or bedroom that is clean one day, suddenly look, a mere 24 hours later, like a monster rally blasted through it?
This is a mother’s lot in life. A parenting paradox. A problem.
I seriously don’t get this. Friends will ask how I’m doing and I will honestly say great. And then the next day it will be like the Teton Dam has broken all over again with teenage meltdowns and forgotten appointments and I feel like we are back to square one.
Finally, I’ve realized the good news-we really aren’t back to square one. As in the experience above, I’m happy to report that we came back together in a close circle, some on the couch, some on the floor, and talked about how we treat each other, how it hurts people’s feelings when we tease, and how to change our behavior.
But I have learned something already. Not to expect the next day (or even the next minute) that this will actually happen. I must simply remember that we have addressed it, will continue to address it, and hopefully grow in the process. And if not, I will put in earbuds, turn on a vacuum, and ignore all forms of complaint.
If you’re also feeling the Parenting Paradox, my sympathies. Know that at the very least, you’re in good company.
Best,
Connie
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