I’m not even sure how to put this experience into words.
I’m not sure what would convey the wonder and awe and reverence and deep shifting that we individually and collectively experienced.
About a year ago I felt a divine discontent, a rumble that something was going to shift. And then came the Divine Download to focus on helping women to become Disciple Thought Leaders in their sphere. And I thought, What exactly does that mean? What does that look like? #wheresthemanual
I had no idea. In moments I could feel a sense of it, but also that there was a very distinct, very important missing piece. And I didn’t know what it was, so I asked.
And got nothing.
Or so it seemed.
A few months later, and some upleveling experiences (translation: confusion, opportunity, yanked out of my comfort zone, deer in the headlights, a chocolate binge, journal writing, and submission…) I had a “coincidental” connection with a friend while helping in the kitchen of a speaking conference.
And in one sentence, she led me to my missing piece.
That was last September. From that moment, I was all in. Both feet, hands in the air, screaming on the way down–part fear, part exhilaration.
This past weekend was the culmination of that piece–and the beginning of the more focused path for me. In two and a half days, in the snowy hills of Park City, in a beautiful cabin with nine incredible women, I experienced our first Disciple Thought Leader Retreat.
And I am changed.
I have never seen women’s countenances actually shift in such a short time–some in mere hours–and in such a complete and obvious way, who went from being deep in the rumble of “I don’t know where to go with my life,” “I don’t know what He wants me to do,” “I’m stuck,” “I’m stressed,” “I’m exhausted,” to literally hours later bouncing with joy, light, and clarity.
I can tell you right now, that wasn’t me. Or my assistant, or my retreat director. We stood, all amazed, and watched Him work.
That doesn’t mean we didn’t work. I went into this retreat, preparing in every possible way I knew how. Praying and fasting for these women by name, nurturing them along in preparation assignments, doing all the “right things” to create the best environment.
I put my whole soul into this, thinking we were going to do this amazing job and have some wonderful outcomes.
And then, He took our 16 stones and touched them. And then came this wholly unexpected light, joy, connection, peace, understanding, and revelation.
Don’t get me wrong–I’m infused with a new creative energy that makes me sleep deeply and yet wake early, on fire with ideas and excitement about today, tomorrow, the future, everything!
But paradoxically, I also feel peacefully immersed in this wellspring of goodness, like my soul is soaking in a certain level of happiness I haven’t felt in quite this way.
I honestly can’t describe it. And I don’t know how long it will stay. Something like a breath-taking sunrise–it’s momentary, but it reminds you to take in the ever-present beauty of the sky.
What I do know is this: Purpose changes everything.
Feeling that personal call to His work, and then heeding that call–regardless of the scary–changes everything.
Living your calling–being all in and thoroughly used as an instrument in His Hands for good–changes everything.
And to an even deeper, undiscovered level, it has changed me.
And the most vital learning is that I have seen for myself the soul-shifting power of women of covenant coming together, fully united in their desire to follow Christ.
To serve His children in their own unique way and sphere.
To get quiet and hear His call to them and know how to take the next step.
As both Presidents Nelson and Kimball have pleaded, to become a more articulate, distinct, and happy force for good.
I went into this retreat thinking I had all these things to teach and do and offer, and He took it and upleveled it and sanctified it in ways that I’m still processing. I only know that with those incredible women in the cocoon of that purpose-seeking collective, I experienced a glimpse of the City-of-Enoch-kind of love, growth, and joy.
I’ve shifted. And I’m grabbing onto 2021 in an entirely new way.
(Art credit: Kate Lee)
If you want more information on the Disciple Thought Leader Retreat, check it out here: https://conniesokol.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/26
To join a group of Purpose Filled Women, join us on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/purposefilledwomen
