50 Days to 50
DAY 34: Four Tools to Solve a Life Problem
Are you experiencing a particular life challenge right now? Me too. A few of them, as it happens. But I’m find that real change takes work. Lots of emotional, physical, and mental work. And yet, I’m a busy mom. So, in my desire to create real, fundamental, even generational changes in my and my family’s lives, how can I merge the two?
The other day, I found myself reading new passages of the book, Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Karol Truman. Although I’d read some of the book several months ago, I found new paragraphs, that combined with life experience and helpful friends, to add answers to my earlier question—how do I create real, fundamental, even generational changes while living the regular busy life of a focused mother?
After thinking and pondering, these are the four steps that I came up with.
- Accept the now. Realize there is a purpose in arriving at this moment, situation, or reality, one that likely we can’t see. Whether it’s a problem, person, situation, or concern, as we first accept what is, more peace and understanding (and solutions!) come to us. For myself, I’m finding clear teaching phrases have also come: stand as a witness, heal generational issues, learn to let go and let Him lead, you don’t need to have all the answers now.
“If we want [something/someone] to change, first WE must love [it/them] the way they are. Then the space for change is created. Trying to change things without first accepting them as they are is like wearing Chinese handcuffs…the harder you try, the more resistance you create…’That which we resist, persists.’”
- Open yourself to where He leads. Throughout my life I’ve been a go-getter—seeing something I want, setting a goal, and go-getting it despite obstacles and frustration along the way. Over the years I’ve thankfully also been learning to let Him lead, and even take a step back and simply wait—the latter is not my personal favorite. However, He is teaching me the beauty in just being. That there is a time to move and a time to be still, and that there is learning in both. And to ask more helpful questions:
Isn’t that interesting?
I wonder what He’ll show me through this?
How will this draw me closer to Him?
As I ask myself more open, grounded, peaceful questions, I’m in a more peaceful, grounded, and open place, and more frequently.
“There is a purpose for every challenge and every situation in which we find ourselves. The purpose is for learning and growth—and for getting to know who we really are.”
- Feel and express gratitude. Just as Dieter F. Uchtdorf shares in his masterful talk, “Grateful in Any Circumstances,” we don’t wait until all is perfect before being grateful. It truly is a joy to feel and find it right now, in the midst of whatever and wherever we find ourselves. To trust that He is there, loving and guiding us, filling in the spiritual and emotional gaps if we will let Him.
I’m learning that challenges are to be embraced, that He trusts me, that I’m ready to learn, that I’m seeing through new eyes, and healing present and previous wounds in a layered way. This way of thinking has been eye-opening and life-changing for me.
“Joy is preceded by gratitude.”
- Have faith that ultimate good will be the experience to come. Faith is an action, and as we move on the belief that all good will ultimately come, we find that to be the very case. Some of the “faith tools” I’ve used over the past months have been:
*specifically pray for awareness
*create my ideal vision of situations, relationships, and my life
*use scriptures, temple attendance, conference talks and devotionals, and prayer in very specific, life-applying ways
*use positive affirmations, scripts, and self-talk
*use alternative wellness methods such as essential oils and meditation
*be open to surprise and wonder, looking for what I don’t know and what I can learn
All four of these seemingly steps are profound learning for me. I don’t do them well or consistently enough. But that’s okay. I’m soaking in the peace, joy, and love that I feel from doing them at all.
Now it’s your turn:
What is a difficult life problem or person or situation that I’m facing?
What is one way I can accept it? Open myself to what I can learn from it? Express gratitude for it? Have faith that as I take action, this process will be for my ultimate good?
Happy Journey!
p.s. Enjoy a new Studio 5 episode on “Find Peace in the Chaos,” three tips to feel calm and joyful during the busiest of seasons.
image via Google Images and survivinamerica.com
