[Excerpt from “Marriage is Like a Box of Chocolates…”]
“Sometimes in marriage we begin ‘melting’ into our spouses instead of ‘cleaving’ unto them, a description of the commandment given to Adam and Eve in the Bible. ‘Melting’ means to try to become your husband while ‘cleaving’ means to become one with your husband, two very different things. One is to have no self-concept while the other is to be individual yet united.
For example, ‘melting’ would be like saying, ‘Yes, that’s my favorite movie too’ when it isn’t; ‘I’d love to eat there’ when you don’t; ‘I don’t know, what do you think?’ when you know what you think. These comments are not coming from a similar opinion but more likely from fear of conflict.
As you change your perspective and focus, it becomes clear in your relationship what is melting and what is cleaving. You become more sure of what you want, think, and feel and can more maturely share your thoughts with a spouse. Resentment dwindles and eventually disappears because your responses are honest, and conflict is discussed before it compounds.”
[Excerpt from Connie’s “Marriage is Like a Box of Chocolates…” MP3 download, 60 minutes of principles and practices on Communication, Connection, and Covenant-keeping. On Sale ($7.95, reg. $9.99)
