One great communication technique for marriage is to validate.
“Whether he’s late, again, or bounced a check, again, simply validate. Do not make accusations, suggestions, or sarcastic comments. Ask the Lord to help you remove negative feelings. Anger is exactly what the adversary wants because it clouds our judgment and makes marriage become a “you versus him” situation. It’s not. We don’t know what private hurts your spouse conceals. Just because you verbalize everything doesn’t mean he does, or even wants to. In a maddening moment, only focus on being a loving, stellar wife. Later, you will address the actual issue once the irrational urge to smash dishes has passed.” [Faithful, Fit & Fabulous, Chapter Seven].
This week, instead of reacting to your spouse or children, remember to validate how they might feel. Then, later (perhaps much later!), voice your concerns in a controlled and compassionate tone. Enjoy the fruits of successful communication and both parties moving towards what they really want—to be loved and understood.
All my best,
Connie
