Simplify the Season

If the holidays bring too much stress and not enough joy, maybe it’s time to try a simpler approach. Here are three simple tips to create a meaningful, memorable holiday season.

Remember what you received last year from Uncle Bob or Aunt Lulu? Or gave them? Maybe not. And that’s good news, because this year you can! With a few simple tips, you and I can create a Christmas worth remembering.

Simplify traditions. As a woman, I unwittingly allow myself to be ruled by the Holiday Must-do Minutiae of “but we have to have hollyhocks on the door by December 1st” as if some rabid reindeer will attack otherwise. By choosing a few simple traditions—not all of them—we keep the joy and avoid the frazzle. As a family, decide on three or four must-haves—doing Sub for Santa, seeing the lights at Temple Square, etc.—then rotate others through the next season. Do a family newsletter every other year and instead, send a photo postcard. Try a potluck Christmas Eve dinner—do the ham and let everyone pitch in the rest. Or combine serving with other families. Our neighbors have organized a group giving to replace neighbor gifts and are celebrating with a party—that’s my kind of tradition. Author James Scott Bell shares that to write well first go over-the-top in description and plot points, then pull back 25 percent to make it just right. It’s a good life principle. Likely, we’ve all done the over-the-top Christmas—too much and too stressed. Try pulling back by a quarter and enjoy the new breathing room.

Say no. Kindly, lovingly, but firmly say, “I wish we could, but we won’t be able to this year.” If needed, practice in the mirror. The holidays can bring on the guilt because it’s a time of serving—but serving includes your own family. Evaluate your particular situation and adjust accordingly. This year, respond to opportunities with a silent question: “Will this create a meaningful Christmas for my family?” If not, say, “Try us next year,” because next year might be different for you and your family.
This year I’m pregnant with my seventh child. At age 45. Even when I attempt to move quickly, it’s slow—as in, sloth slow. Trying to keep the same schedule would not be pretty. So this year we’re not doing the 12 days of Christmas but we are doing Secret Santa on Christmas Eve. We’re not doing fifteen different food drives—but we’re doing a few. As a family we’re still serving but it’s notched down to match our increased family situation, and I’m thrilled for the holidays because of it. And, most importantly, saying no to some structured things leaves room for seeing the real-time needs of others in daily life, allowing us to serve in the moment without racing through a line-up of events.

Create a Memory Maker. Forego gifts this year and perhaps take a family trip, or combine it with a service vacation. Several friends travel to Tijuana or Guatemala and build homes for impoverished people. One friend shared, “Each year, we have gone thinking of the good we’ll do. Each year we leave having received more than we could ever give. We see kindness, happiness, and patience from people who live in plywood, pallet, and corrugated metal homes. They are not strangers anymore, they have become our neighbors and friends. The increased closeness, the refocusing of priorities, and the love for humankind we’ve gained is a miracle.” And memory-making doesn’t have to involve travel. We’re doing a family history- centered Christmas—discovering who our ancestors are and involving related activities to create deeper bonds with not only them, but each other.
Give one of these tips a try to avoid the rush-rush and enjoy the hush-hush of a more meaningful Christmas this year!