[The following is an excerpt from Life is Too Short for Sensible Shoes, by Connie Sokol. Purchase links are found below.]
“Years ago, I had an out of body experience. I was sitting in the parking lot of the Tastee Freeze, watching my fingers deliver greasy fries to my lips, a thick shake by my side. It was surreal: I wasn’t hungry, back from a foreign exchange visit, or experiencing hormonal swings. Mindlessly gorging, I retraced the last hour: stopped at the bank, got milk at the store, met nasty copier lady, bought stamps at the post … Aha! A connection perhaps? Let’s back up. Specifically to the nasty copier lady.
Fifteen copies, color on both sides. That’s it. This would not do, it had to be more complex. Needing to pick up Junior in 15 minutes, I watched her bring me the first batch (note “first”) which I did not recognize as my order and mistook for tie-dye shirts. The second batch of copies looked the same but, I agreed, did indeed have “more beautifully intense colors.” I thought to myself, was this brain surgery? Should I offer a sterilized copier glove?
To deal with these surges of business-hour violence, I have since learned a tool, a coping mechanism, a copier glove. Now, when I encounter a nasty copier lady, I mentally say I Love You. And I keep repeating this until my thoughts evolve into “you must have had a hard day, rough childhood, pet boa constrictor,” or something along those lines. This produces some kind of hard to spell hormone that upon release actually makes you feel love for that person. Being religious, I know this love is from God who is completely on my side, waiting only to get those nasty people in their awaiting kingdom (full of non-working copiers).
Mentally saying I Love You in the face of anger, non-reason, or just in someone’s face is a powerful tool and incredibly universal. Most situations, if not all, are bettered by this secret weapon. When the glossy-lipped airline reser-vationist tells you, say, for the 27th time, that you’ll be on the very next flight, you may feel your insides start to shred. This is a good time to mentally say I Love You.
This works. I do it often. Actually, my phrasing goes more like, “Listen you red painted siren from the airport coffee lounge, get me that reservation or I’m gonna reach in and grab your larynx.” Enter I Love You, which softens me to “BUT, seeing as you are a child of God, I will merely curse your firstborn,” something of that nature. So, before you emotionally react to the situation at hand, whether by taste buds or by temper, try silently saying I LOVE YOU, before you head for the Tastee Freeze.
Life Tip:
When angry or frustrated at someone, mentally say
“I Love You” to that person.
Book Pick:
Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D”
[We hope you enjoyed this excerpt from Life is Too Short for One Hair Color, 