What Matters Most

The other day I asked my daughter Chloe to be my Sous Chef; meaning, she would help me with dinner. She is the “cooker” of our family who loves to bake and do all things with the oven. So we’re making a lasagna and these darling lemon Bundt cakes with this fabulous new dealy wheely pan (four medium-size decorative shapes). She is ecstatic. She has on her apron. She is officiallycooking!
And what do I do? Be a cook hog! From stacking the noodles to scraping out the bowl I forgot to simply demonstrate and was wont to take over the whole deal IN THE INTEREST OF TIME. I was reminded, yet again, to back off and let the little lady do the work. She’s in third grade and can learn for herself. And if I ever want to realize my dream of sitting on the couch while my children slave over the stove, it begins now.
Do you find yourself doing this? We want our children to become self-sufficient and Future Stellar Adults. But then we have to get the girls to dance, or pick up someone from school, and it’s chop-chop and I’ll just do it myself.
This week I encourage you to MAKE YOURSELF STAND BACK and simply oversee, demonstrating and then helping only when truly needed. There will be mistakes. There will be tears. But there will be growth.
Last week we attempted to make Cream of Wheat—same child—and at the last minute I needed to flat iron someone’s hair. When I came back down she had not used the one cup of wheat I had told her, but instead, three. Her response was to be expected—she ran from the kitchen crying and into her room, slamming the door.
Ah, girls.
Then I explained to her that one, we could buy more Cream of Wheat, and, two, it was all part of the learning process. And had to bite my tongue about anything else…
So try it on for size. Give your child a new chore, life skill, or learning experience and remember to simply explain, demonstrate, and encourage, while you refuse to look at the clock, mess, or piling dishes.
Best,
Connie

2 thoughts on “What Matters Most”

  1. I found that I am more able to allow my grandchildren to help me in the kitchen. I have so much more patience as a grandmother than I did as a mom. I truly wish that I had been able to have the patience and time as a mom to do these fun things with my children. Luckily I can visit my grandchildren and give mom a break while I help the cook.

  2. A good reminder. I have been thinking about this one lately too. I do well for a while and then take over like you said. Here’s to backing off and letting them learn by doing! Thanks Connie!

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