Balance reDefined Radio Podcast Episode 53
What Losing My Wallet Taught Me
(The following is the transcript of the podcast.)
[00:00] Hi, I’m Connie Sokol, a national speaker, bestselling author, program founder and mother of seven and loving it. I’m reaching and teaching 1 million listeners to live a purposeful, organized, and joyful life. You can too, so let’s go.
[00:16] Welcome back to Balance reDefined. I’m Connie Sokol and I have fabulous things to share, so happy. You’re with me again.
[00:22] Gonna a talk today about what I learned losing my wallet? Ever been there? Ever lost something like that — where it’s your wallet, it’s Your Life. Maybe back in the old days, it was the binder, the planner. Do you remember that? Those big chunky planners we used to carry around, or maybe it’s been a credit card or your driver’s license or a piece of information that was really vital?
[00:44] I want you to go back to that for a moment. Go back to that scary feeling. I want you to go back to that for just a minute to appreciate the learning lessons here because I think this will apply heartily to things that you are going through in your own life because it’s the scary situations where you feel out of control.There is nothing more you can do and you still have to deal with the consequences.
[01:09] That’s really what we’re talking about here. And that’s life. So much of life is out of our control in that sense of other people’s decisions, other people doing things, and we are dealing with the fallout and we have so much that we can control, but it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in that moment. So I want to kind of take you back through this anatomy of this experience of how I learned what I learned because it was extremely pivotal. In fact, I could even go so far as to say it was life changing for me.
[01:37] It really shifted and up leveled the way that I went about things. So in the last few days since, all right, so what happened is starting back on a Tuesday, so realized that I had lost my wallet on the Wednesday morning, so it didn’t even know that I’d lost it on the Tuesday, you know how you come back home and you’re all in for the night?
[01:56] Wednesday morning, going to ruck with breakfast with friends, and I’m like, oh my wallet. It’s not in my purse. Turn back around, scour through the house, go, oh it’s probably one of the kids’ cars or something like that. I’ll have to get that when I get back or I’ll have to figure that out. My friend paid for my lunch, I bring a checkbook and don’t realize that, guess what? Nobody takes checks anymore cause I haven’t used them in forever. Had a dust that one off.
[02:20] Anyway, so I realize, wow, there’s no sign of it. I’m saying a prayer because you know I’m a praying woman, I’m praying, I’m saying okay, I’m asking to help me find this wallet. Kind of important. So asking if I can have it and still no sign and the whole day goes through, there’s a holiday going on. Thank goodness I had bought stuff before and I’m like, what do I do with this?
[02:41] You know, how quickly do you start the process of getting all of those documents in place as opposed to, oh, it’s underneath the car seat and you found it, you know, a day later and now you’ve started this whole process and it’s like a, why did I do that? Right?
[02:57] So there’s this dynamic going on of how much inconvenience am I going to have to deal with before I actually deal with it. So I thought, ah, I just kept praying and praying and I thought, I’m going to give it one more day.
[03:09] ‘Kay, I feel the song of Les Mis coming on *One more day…One day more.* Okay. So then Thursday still no sign and I’m like, I’ve got to function here. So I thought first things first, I’ve got to be able to have cash, I’ve got to be able to have money.
[03:25] So I go to the bank and you know, getting a new debit card and all of that can be so frustrating. Well, I go in and the usual gal that I know have been there for 15 years and the usual Gal I know is busy with someone and I only have a few minutes because I’ve got to go run and grab kids. So I go in and I sit down with this lady and I tell her my story. I lost my wallet and she’s looking at me. Yeah.
[03:45] And I was like, she says, “Well, do you have any identification?”
[03:48] And I wanted to say, “did you hear the first sentence that I just said, I lost my wallet.”
[03:54] Everything is in that wallet. My life is in that wallet. And it’s a brick. You can’t miss this thing. It’s a deep burgundy, but it’s a brick. It is about the size of a brick. And I’m not joking and about as thick because even when I clean out the receipts, it’s still a brick. So anyway, my whole life is in there.
[04:09] So I was sitting there and all of a sudden the thought comes to me, I think I have a picture of my driver’s license on my phone. My daughter who is just preparing for a church mission for the Latter Day Saint Church. She had me do some stuff for the paperwork and I took a picture of my driver’s license. And usually I delete that right off the bat. So I scrolling as this woman is looking up some stuff and I’m scrolling like a banshee just go and then boom, it was there.
[04:33] So I go, this is me, I feel a song coming on again, and so I show her my driver’s license is obviously the picture. It looks a lot like me, you know, one of those drivers licenses that actually was close to your real weight and actually looks like you.
[04:47] And I said, this is me. And so she compared the driver’s license number and she kinda stroked her chin and she was like, hmm, went away. And then came back and then I got a card and we’re talking in about seven minutes and she says to me, “you know, we’re not usually allowed to do this. So just making you aware.”
[05:04] Kind of like don’t go spread it around on a podcast. That’s why I’m not going to tell you what the institution was, but bless that woman’s soul. I love her and I may bring her treats just to say thank you, not to seem like a bribe, but anyway, so I got my card in about seven minutes. Now I want to walk back for a second here because as I’m praying on this Wednesday, I’m like, I really got to move on this. I talked to a friend of mine and she says, you know, Connie, I have had experiences like that and I don’t know what you think about this, but I totally believe that if you pray, ask God for help.
[05:36] You know he has angels that can move that wherever it needs to go. She says, that happens to our family all the time.
[05:41] I was like, really?
[05:42] She said, yeah, we lose stuff and then we pray and we find it and I’m telling you, I know that they move it. I went, really? She said, yeah, my daughter was filming and she left the film canister at the place she was filming and so she gets on the bus and she’s driving. She’s like, I forgot that she said a prayer. And she said, literally she got home and the film canister was on her roommate’s desk. No lie. I went, oh wow. Now this isn’t from a friend of a friend or a friend. This is my friend. And I was like, hmm.
[06:07] So wrapping my right mind around that, I thought, I think I could try this.
[06:11] I’m praying, I’m asking, Hey, can I get my wallet back? And if it’s good for me to get it back, would love that. So she got me thinking. So I said, I’m going to shift my prayer because the wall is not showing up. And so I went from “Heavenly Father, can you please give my wallet back if it’s good for me to have it back?” Because you know, sometimes it, the miracle isn’t an answer. In fact, I did a Facebook live on that because sometimes we pray and we don’t get the miracle answer. We just don’t and that’s not for our good. It’s not the betterment. Even though we think that looks like a great answer would be a perfect answer. But that’s not the answer that we need in that moment. And I got that because I’ve had that experience in my life and later on I look back and go, I’m so grateful I did not get the miracle I prayed for because I got a better one later.
[06:55] Have you ever had that? So I’ve had that. So I thought I’m going to switch my prayer and I’m going to say “Heavenly Father, if I can get my wallet back, that’s great, gonna hold faith on that, but if not, I’m going to ask if you could make the way smooth.”
[07:09] So I had this two part thing going, I have faith that you can help me find my wallet and I then added on help thou my unbelief because I’m wrapping my mind around this. I do believe that angels can move stuff. I mean they can do anything right, but for me and in this situation with this really happen, right? It was, it was quite a moment. I mean I’ve been a faith based woman forever and so I’m like, huh. So got that dynamic. And then the other dynamic of but if not just like from the scriptures.
[07:39] Nevertheless I will believe and could you make the way smooth? Can you make the, getting the documents and all that stuff? Can you just, can you help me make it a smooth process? Because right now it feels completely overwhelming. At that moment, I also remembered a devotional I had heard from Sherry Do, who is an author, see a former CEO of Deseret book bookstore and she talked about an experience she had where she was, I think she was out to dinner with friends in a city. I can’t remember. I think that’s what it was. But unusually she left her briefcase in her car while she comes out and it’s been stolen. They are scouring the area, they’re even going dumpster diving. These women, you know in dresses going, dumpster diving and they are trying to find this and they can’t find it. So she starts the laborious process of getting all of those identification things in play.
[08:30] Two weeks later, she gets a call and it’s from her church department and it says, “Hey Sister Do we have a briefcase in some staff here for you? And again, I’m paraphrasing and she says, really? And they said, yeah, it was found at a bar. Been to any bars lately, Sister Do. She’s like, oh noooo. But that’s beautiful. So as I remembered, I thought, you know, it can happen, it may just not happen on my timeframe.
[09:02] So as you can imagine, I don’t want to jump in too fast to getting all of this id stuff replaced, just in case holding that faith. So the next day I’m going in this two pronged approach, praying for my wallet to show up, holding faith for that. If not, can you make the way smooth? And here I go in to get this beautiful credit card and super, super slick, right? So then it’s still not turning up.
[09:28] I mean we have ransack the house several times and we’ve just decluttered last fall. So it’s like it can’t really hide and it’s a brick going through every room, going through all the cars, going through everything. Even went back to places I went to on Tuesday, just in case I thought maybe I had dumped it when I took my daughter and her friend to go to Costa Vida for her friend’s birthday lunch. Maybe I had dumped it accidentally in the garbage can. Even went twice to Costa Vida because I didn’t feel like I got a good answer the first time anyway. I mean really it was intense. Still nothing. So by this time, it’s Friday and I’m like, I cannot show. If I get pulled over, I cannot show to a police officer my driver’s license on my phone. I don’t think they’re going to like that.
[10:07] So I better start this process. I’ll take one more step now I’ve got a whole bunch of cards in my wallet, all these debit cards from all these different business accounts and things like that. And so I’m like, Eh, I don’t want to have to do that. That whole lego movie, Batman moment, I don’t want to do that — right? So I’m like, oh. So then I say a prayer and the thought comes to mind, the driver’s license place is right in a city I have to go to anyway on Friday. It’s right on my way and in fact I have to deposit some things and I’m right there like right there, it’s the second floor of that building. I’m like, ah, all right, I’ll just go and do it. I’m just dreading, it’s going to be this laborious intensive wait in line process and I don’t have a lot of time.
[10:48] So I go in there about eight minutes. I kid you not, I walk into that driver’s license bureau, division, whatever you want to call it. I walk in, there’s no one, no line. I walk in, get her done, take the test thing, like the little eye testing, take the picture, Boom. Out. No joke. I don’t ever remember in my entire life it being like that. So it’s a done deal. Now during this time as I’m driving home, I hear about my neighbor who has many children and she has just gone in the hospital and I’m like, oh wow, okay. I will take your kids, and the younger ones all wanted to come. So I had about four or five kids and I said, bring them over and I will when I’m home then I will take care of them. I’ve got them for the night, don’t you worry about it.
[11:34] So they come over, I go in to go get changed into pajamas, blah, blah, blah, and it’s within about, I kid you not 15 minutes after these kids coming over that my little guy, my little Bryson and comes in and says, mom, mom, you remember that wallet thing? We’ve found it. I am not joking. Talk about angels in person. Turns out the little girl of the kids that I’m watching, she went into my son’s closet that is more of his toy storage that we don’t really, I mean he uses his active toys that are out on his floor and in his cubbies and things like that. It was more of the toy storage and it’s like there’s boxes and there’s tubs and there’s dress ups and things like that and so there’s lots of colors, lots of stuff in there in this deep burgundy thing.
[12:18] She found it in there. I do not even remember going in there. I remember tiding my son’s room, but I don’t remember going in that closet and I certainly don’t remember having my wallet while I was doing that, but there you are and there it was and you know what was cool? Is that the whole time throughout this experience I felt peace. I felt peace. I did not feel stressed. I did not feel super worried. I did not feel like I got to do this right this second. I had felt complete peace and probably what contributed to that was my accounts had not been touched. So I knew it had to be somewhere that was known to us. But I just didn’t know where. And I have to tell you, that piece helped me continue to move forward when I wasn’t sure if I should hold faith for that to show up or if I should move forward on getting my, my new identification.
[13:12] But the whole process of four days, I felt peace. And I even had my daughter on that Friday morning who said, mom, I cannot believe how peaceful you’ve been about this. And another beautiful bonus of this was no matter what the outcome was, I felt so happy to hear her say the next words, which were, “Mom, do you want me to pray and fast for you?” Now in, in our church and in the Bible it talks about fasting. And we believe in that principle that when you want an extra blessing you can fast. Well, we do that once a month. But you know, they’re teenagers. So do you think they’re giddy about fasting, about missing two meals? And then giving the amount of those meals to those who are poor or can’t, um, you know, or hungry or need food and helping them. Do you think that that’s high on their list?
[14:02] Little angsty. When we do that, I’ll tell ya for her, my teenage daughter to say that to me, Mom, “can I pray and fast, you want me to pray and fast for you?” And the day she said this to me was Valentine’s Day. That was the holiday. This is what she said to me. I was like, wow, okay. Whatever happens, win, lose or draw. This was worth it. Because I knew when push came to shove, she had learned some tools that she could go to to find peace and get answers. Uh Wow. So I just want you to know, I’m going to recap the three things that I really learned from this experience. And the first one is what I just shared, which was embrace peace. You’re going to have an experience which will give you license to stress, license to angst, license to tantrum and scream and say, what were you thinking, It will give you justification to do that.
[15:00] And I’m saying, don’t, don’t stay in a peaceful space and as you do that, you will be inspired as to what to do next. There’s nothing you can do about what has happened. It’s all about what you do next. So embrace peace and it made that whole week wonderful and did not ruin the Valentine’s Day and the other things that we were doing during that week, it didn’t ruin any of it. It did not overshadow it. It didn’t take precedence, it didn’t come center and then everybody’s in upheaval. Everybody went about their lives, so embrace peace.
[15:41] The second thing I learned was ask God more than one way. We kind of think if we ask for something and it doesn’t show up well, then either God didn’t listen or he doesn’t want me to have it and it’s done. Conversation is done. How many conversations do you have that go like that?
[15:57] Well, healthy conversations that go like that. If I’m talking to my children about picking up their clothes or doing their chores, I can guarantee I’m having more than one conversation. I guarantee I’m coming at it more than one way to try to help them want to do what they need to do. To help them embrace why to get to that Maslov hierarchy of you want to do it because it’s a good and righteous thing to do and it’s really because you really want to do it. We’re still working on that, right? It takes, takes time. It’s a process, so ask God more than one way. I asked if I could have my wallet back that wasn’t coming so I shifted and said, if I can have that, great. If not, then can you make the reparation smooth? Can you make the new way, the way that I can fix it, smooth and easy for me to do?
[16:43] Now, that doesn’t mean it’s always going to happen and I have totally embraced that, also. I know that God’s got to do what God’s got to do because look at what he’s got to work with. This is about growth people. This life is about growth, so it’s all about up leveling and changing and shifting. Ooh, I know our favorites. We’d really rather just be on the couch binge watching something, right? It’s a good and noble endeavor, but really our soul is wiser than we are and our soul yearns to be up leveled.
[17:13] Our soul knows all the good stuff that is waiting now and in the future and wants us to get off that couch. So ask God more than one way and I promise you as you do that, your relationship with him will shift. And again, whatever your religious belief is, if it’s the universe, if it’s divine influence, I’ve always said to you, just put in what it is for you but it will shift and your faith will increase and your joy will be more.
[17:42] And I promise you that I that those few days I can’t even express to you the and love that I had in my heart. In fact, I awoke that Wednesday morning, I mean Thursday morning that Valentine’s Day and I literally, I felt so much love that I, I just felt like it was going to explode out of me. I was just given treats left and right and hugs and sending lovey texts. Not because I had to, I really felt this bursting out of love and I thought, isn’t that amazing that during this experience I can be feeling that for real. So I promise you that as you follow that kind of emotional, spiritual path, you will feel happier, you will have more joy. It is a better choice. And I just got to remember to keep choosing it when I’m in those moments.
[18:31] And the last thing is to move forward in faith. You know, the wallet was not showing up. Do we sit, do we get into Ben and Jerry’s? Do we go under the covers? Do we, do we just give up? No, we move forward in faith.
[18:46] I got a card and I put a toe out there and said alright if I have to I’ll do it. And then of course I had to do a driver’s license, so I put another toe out there. But I was moving forward in faith and saying, I’m still old enough faith. We’ve got a long holiday weekend this weekend. So I’m home faith that by the end of this weekend I can actually find my wallet. After that, yeah, I’m probably going to have to go full bore and get everything replaced. But I’m holding faith.
[19:11] So move forward in faith and that is both holding faith that you’re going to get the answer you want and moving forward in the thing that is before you, until you get the thing that you truly, really want.
[19:23] Does that make sense? I hope that you’re feeling it. I was feeling it. I’m still feeling it. Reliving it. I’m feeling it again. So this week I remind you, embrace peace, ask God more than one way, and move forward in faith. And if you want more of these yummy tidbits, then I encourage you to subscribe to my podcast and you can get them every week. I do two new ones a week unless life hits the fan. And then you get one people and you’re lucky to get that. So if you could subscribe, that would be fantastic. Comment below, I would love to know if this is helping you or if it’s improving your life in some way or making you feel great, and if you would love to connect with me in other ways with social media, I’m on all major social media and you can also get all the latest scoops, updates, all my TV segment stuff, all my newest release has everything with my weekly newsletter. So you can go on Conniesokol.com get the newsletter, and if you sign up, you get a free book right off the bat.
[20:18] That’s right because I love for you to have lots of good content and get it into your life, into your hands and doing it. I love, love, love it. So Conniesokol.com for everything you need. Meanwhile, you can check out another podcast because remember, make this year, the year you get Balanced reDefined.
[20:36] Hi, I’m Connie Sokol and thanks for listening today to balance redefined. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe and if you liked it, get even more life shifting. Learning with my best selling books on Amazon from humorous to core content, seasonal to spiritual life hacking, nonfiction to fun romance fiction. I have a book for just what you need. So go to Amazon, search Connie Sokol, and check out the show notes for the direct link to guide you there.