Balance reDefined Radio Episode 55
Ready for an Abundance Day? Feel the Power!
(The following is the transcript of the podcast.)
[00:00]Hi, I’m Connie Sokol, a national speaker, bestselling author, program founder, and mother of seven and loving it. I’m reaching and teaching 1 million listeners to live a purposeful, organized, and joyful life. You can too. So let’s go.
[00:16]Welcome back to Balance reDefined. I’m Connie Sokol, your host, your happy host who is so thrilled to have you back for more great stuff. Today I am talking about an abundance date. Have you had one recently? Have you thought about what? Do you even know what one is?
[00:34] We are going to talk about all of those things because abundance is such a fabulous and quite to be honest, it’s a very hot topic. It is so on point now and I think this is because so many people are feeling such a lack of abundant, joyful happiness in their lives right now. Even though we are one of the richest countries in the world, we have most everything at our disposal.
[01:00] When you consider the basics, I mean how many people do you see that don’t have a cell phone? Even when they are saying, wow, I really don’t have very much of my life. We really have so much at our fingertips and yet so many people that I meet kind of walk with their head down kind of feel and I don’t have enough and I don’t feel that joy. I don’t feel the daily happiness and I’m trying to capture it, but I can’t find it. Have you felt those feelings before?
[01:28] If you thought that then stayed tuned because I have a joyful experience I want to share with you and actually in the sharing of the experience, I want to share the points that I want to make about the experience. Okay. So this happened recently and it was just so unexpected. I went to go tape my usual TV segment and I go downtown and I was planning on doing lunch with someone afterwards and then their schedule just last minute got cancelled and just said, oh, “I have to do this and I’m going to have to switch this”.
[01:58] And I’m so sorry. So I found myself with a little chunk of time because I was going to a later meeting and I had this little chunk of time and my first thought, I dunno if you’re like me, my first thought was productivity. I am going to get so much done. I’ve got this extra time. I do not have children with me. I don’t have any other responsibilities. Nobody thinks I’m available. I’ve got this time that I can actually get more done. Anybody else like that?
[02:24] It’s a very sad thing because it’s wonderful to be productive, but when life gives you this opportunity, then you take it as an opportunity and that’s the feeling thought that I had. You know, I talk about that, of those feeling thoughts and that I felt like God was saying, “Connie, I’m giving you a gift. Just take it”.
[02:45] How often do we shove the gift aside? No, no, no, no. Gotta be productive. No, no, no. Gotta be pragmatic. But I didn’t it. I didn’t shove it aside. I just said, okay, all right. I’m accepting the gift. What now?
[03:00] And it was this moment that was just fabulous of my whole soul opened up and went, Ooh, what do I want to do? And I’m in downtown and I’m usually up in the mountains where we live and, and so it’s, I mean it’s not Jeremiah Johnson, you know, it’s like a nice community, but it’s, you know, I’m not in downtown kind of atmosphere and I have, I don’t know about you, but I have this love-fear your relationship with the downtown, whatever downtown I go to. I just, I feel this excitement and the energy, oh my goodness. I remember when I first went to go visit New York and I came up off of that subway. Came up and there was, I think it was the New York Times building. It’s that really tall silvery, and I just, and it was at night and that just the streets were pulsing with energy.
[03:46] I had never felt anything like that before. It was just thrilling. Just, Ooh, what made you walk different? Kind of that thing did the thing. And so I was like, wow, this is like downtown! Right? So my downtown is not like New York, but it still has that feel of the site skyscrapers and that feel of, there’s all this kind of excitement and unknown and so for me who likes a little bit more predictability and all of that, I like my same duvet. I like my same rhythms, I like the same routes that I drive, all of those things. So I’m not one to be like wonderlust of like let’s be spontaneous today.
[04:22] I’m working on that. I’m working on branching out and really kind of doing that Ying Yang thing of you kind of balance it out? Balanced the force. So anyway, back to the matter. So I just, the first thing I had to do I realized was I had to choose to take the gift. And then the second was to face my fears and embrace them and lean into them and, and really sit with them. Not stress about I don’t know where I’m going or what if I go down a wrong street and where would that take me? But instead, I mean being wise, but still just saying, I am going to explore and that’s — I’m going on an adventure, like the Hobbit, right? Just this feeling of, okay, I’ve got this opportunity. What am I going to do with it? So, so I did and I was really proud of myself not going in the predictable mode but saying, well what can I do?
[05:11] And so the first thing that came to mind was I am hungry, which I was. And so I thought, well, I’ll just go through a drive-thru and maybe I’ll go hit a bookstore. That sounds really fun cause I haven’t been to a bookstore in months and months and I love a bookstore and more about that in a minute. But I thought about, Oh, I’m hungry. And then I went, no, no, no, not going through a drive through for a salad. I’m going to go to some cool little nook and some awesome little dive that’s got great reviews and I never get to go to, and so I looked up this one place and it was, had great reviews, had fun pictures. Oh, do I love tech nowadays, but all these fun pictures and Ooh, they highly recommended the strawberry walnut salad and that sounded so yum.
[05:51] So I did, I went, I put it on and I was like, go and do nothing, you know, with the Google. Okay. Right. Not exactly Sacagawea but hey, okay, my version. So I went and actually pass by it because it was such a small hole in the wall, but I doubled back, went in and you know, there’s all these different kinds of people and all these and it’s really eclectic and funky and it was so fun. So I got the salad and I noticed there wasn’t anything that was really fabulous for dessert, but I thought, you know what? I’m going to be good. I’m going to stay on my thing. I’ll make sure I’m eating healthy, blah, blah, blah. So I decided to get the mushroom bisque.
[06:25] Anybody knows Studio C “bisque–lobster bisque”. I got the mushroom bisque and I thought, I put the little packages next to me in my seat as I’m driving it, it was so, so, so fun. That’s how I started driving. And I think, what do I want to do? And then I went back to the bookstore idea. That sounds really fun. Which bookstore? And then this idea came, I am writing a fiction book with a bookstore as part of the setting, one of the places that the main characters tend to meet, but it’s a really kind of eclectic bookstore. And the idea in my mind was the King’s English Bookstore. And that’s one of our downtown, you know, sort of our nice eclectic indie places and it’s got hardwood floors and it used to be an old home. And so it’s like one of those nooks and crannies and so fun. And Oh, I never get to go there. I hadn’t been there since my friend had her book signing there. She’s a national bestseller. I was like, oh, I haven’t been there in forever.
[07:13] So I head over there and I go in and I start taking pictures for research and this nice woman, elderly woman comes up and says, can I help you? Kind of looking at me like, what are you doing lady? And I thought, oh, she’s probably thinking I’m a weirdo, but hey, it’s an eclectic place. Come on. So I said, you know what, I’m actually taking pictures because I’m writing a book that has this in its setting and I don’t even get to finish my sentence and she goes, oh, I know who you want to talk to. You want to talk to this gentleman about getting your book on consignment. I was like, oh. So she brings this gentleman and I, we started talking and I resolve the concern that hey, I isn’t actually written even though I’ve written other books, I’ve written 17 but I’ve written a couple that are fiction, but this one is still a work in progress, a whip.
[07:54] And he said, oh well when do you think you could have that done? And I hear myself saying by Fall, yeah. And that’s, you know, and like four months, four or five months and I am laughing to myself because I hear myself say this and I’m like, well there you go, Connie. There is your deadline. It’s on. So it was fabulous.
[08:12] Talked to him about putting on consignment and took pictures and, and then I thought, I want to get a book that the kids and I would love to share. And I thought about my girls and I thought, what would be a good one? And I loved the movie. I haven’t read the book, but I loved the movie, the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Yeah. Say that three times fast. And I thought, I wonder if they have it. It’s kind of an indie thing.
[08:32] I think. So I checked with her and she was shocked, pretty impressed that I knew the entire title and got it correct. It’s got even browse myself and I think I made brownie points. So anyway, got that and I thought, oh, we can share this would be so fun. So headed over and I thought, I’ve got still a little bit more time because King’s English isn’t the type you sit and type. I thought I want to sit down and just type, right. So I ended up going to Barnes and noble and I walk into the same feeling that I had at King’s English only a little bit different. You walk in and it’s just times like a hundred because all of that book smell. Do you know what I’m talking about? There’s just the book smell and then the refreshments smell from the little cafe and all of those yummy smells and couches and and oh there’s feelings of people and oh, it was just joyful.
[09:17] And I found one of the last stuffed chairs pulped myself down nice and cozy and settled in and oh, time flew like that! It was just heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven. So finished with that. And I have to tell you, I am a backing up at, before I went to Barnes and noble, I was like, I’m driving along and I’m thinking, what else would I like to do in this time? And I went French Bakery. That’s right, because throw it out the window about being low carbs a day. People, it’s an adventure.
[09:47] Adventures do not have low carb treats. So I said, where’s the French Bakery? Looked it up on my tools, found this fabulous well-reviewed bakery walked in and it was one of those, you just want to sit there all day, you can almost hear an accordion playing, right? It’s got all the breads on the wall and it’s got these, this whole counter case of all kinds of delicious patisserie that just, Oh, I was salivating and you might be right now, but the, the chocolate almond croissants and then this dusted powdered sugar dusted brownie that’s cut just so, and it’s thick and not too sweet and this pecan little sticky bun that was just to die for.
[10:31] I mean really, it was just beautiful to look at. So beautiful for my eyes and so sumptuous for my taste buds. So anyway, I thought, oh my kids love that and that and that and I would love that and that. And that’s why I got a box of a bunch of different ones and then owing to our usual family custom after Barnes Noble, I of course tasted and sampled every single one of them because that’s what a good mother does. So I sampled all of them. Oh, it was so good. I feel badly because usually our stuff has just totally mutilated because we all like to have little bits.
[11:02] So much better as little bits. So anyway, enjoyed my patisserie, enjoyed the Barnes and noble and now it was time to go to my meeting and I have to tell you the sheer joy and abundance, this feeling of all things are possible. All things are beautiful and delectable and oh, life is worth living and is bounteous and worth doing and sharing this feeling just was erupting from my soul.
[11:31] All from a couple of hours of just letting loose in a really positive way of just enjoying what life has to offer and all the good stuff. There was no after hangover, there was no after things to pay off except for maybe some of that Patisserie, but I only had little sample bits, so I felt really good, did yoga later. It was all good, cancels it out, but it was just this joy. It was sheer joy and my soul and my body just ate it up figuratively and literally, it just was beautiful.
[12:04] And I walked into my meeting and it was a meeting of some really some notable people in this speaking and that I was doing my kind of speaking meeting and speaking world and I just walked in heading, you know, back to that whole New York Times building moment. I walked in with that total feeling of Dang, Dang, like I am here people and I am abundant like just flowing with it. What do you need? Cause I got it. That’s how it felt. It was just joyful.
[12:35] So working backwards, I want you to remember some of the key steps that I had to just see him. Do you remember him? So the first one, if you can recall from this whole wonderful experience, it didn’t take very long, but was just, I’m still reaping the benefits. What did you see as the steps?
[12:51] The first thing, if you recall, is I had to choose the gift. I had to choose it. I had to see it and embrace it and take it and say, Yup, this is the gift. I’m going to have it. I’m going to receive it. So I had to choose the gift and receive it.
[13:03] The second thing is what? I had to be brave. I had to face my fears and I had to be brave. I had to just, some people would be like, well, what are you talking about making a brave decision. It was brave for me. Everybody’s decisions are different as far as level of bravery and it was brave for me, so I had to choose to be brave.
[13:19] The next step was that I used tools, I used information, I used tools, I use my head to be able to have it be a smooth experience, you know, so many of my friends will say, wow, we said let’s just try this road on our road trip and guess what? It was a dead end and it was awful and road construction and it was the worst. I did not want to waste my time on that. Now that’s fine. If you’re totally in the mood for it and you don’t care, you got five days to like totally do whatever. But I didn’t have that much time and I really wanted a great experience. So use the tech and be able to do a better, a better chance of making good decisions for me to really enjoy that time.
[13:57] And the last thing was sharing the joy, just sharing it all the way along. I went back through that experience. I thought, why was that so sustaining? Cause you know sometimes you just eat a crepe and it’s just a crepe right? But I was like, oh, because that ability to share it all along the way, what did so and so want? What would they like?
[14:14] And it wasn’t that I didn’t know who I was and I couldn’t figure out what made me happy. It was that I did know what I wanted and I did make myself happy and it made me want to share the experience. What would my kids love? What would my friend love, which she loved to read that book. What would my, the people that I’m going to meet at the speaking thing, what would they love to hear? Or what would they love to sample? You know, those kinds of things. Those are what really help sustain that feeling of abundance and joy.
[14:41] So that was my abundance day, people and I just want you to know if you’re feeling like, wow, today’s a little gloomy, it’s a little regular, it’s a little time to get up and make the donuts, you know that kind of a day and you’re feeling it.
[14:56] Like I just have that vision of, do you remember the original Incredibles movie that tells you how old I am? When I remember the original coming out, but when he’s sitting in the, the office, the cubicle, and he’s just like, it’s the insurance cubicle and he looks pale and gray and he’s got all this paperwork stacked around and everything is gray, the cubicle is gray, everything’s grey and it’s just stamping papers and you can just feel, feel the heaviness and the yeeeh of it. And that’s what I’m talking about. If you’re feeling that well you can shift it, create an abundance day, and if you don’t have a whole day, then just do a couple of hours like I did because you know what? The aftereffects made it an entire abundance date and you will feel those positive aftershocks of it. But if you don’t have that than doing abundance hour, and if you don’t have an hour, then do abundance 15 minutes where you just do whatever you would like that would bring abundance and a feeling of joy.
[15:49] Just do that and then see what happens. Watch the magic that it works in your life and in the lives of others. I promise you it’s real. They’re going to happen for you. All right, so I give you this challenge. Take the abundance challenge, do it, do it sometime today and for some period of time and even as just one joyful thing that you do one abundant minded thing that you do.
[16:11] Then do that and as always, if you want more great podcasts, subscribe to my podcast so you can get the notifications on new ones. I do two new ones a week and I love, love, love to hear your feedback. If you want to have a certain topic that you’d love for me to share about, feel free to let me know and also any other scoops you want, Conniesokol.com that’s s as in Sam -o-k-o-l.com go check it out.
[16:35] I’ve got my newsletter and you can get a free book when you sign up for my newsletter. It’s so, so, so fun and you get the latest updates: you find out what my TV segments and all the other stuff that I’m doing, my speaking events and all the goodies and my new courses that I’m offering.
[16:49] In fact, offering a brand new one on how to be an influential writer, speaker and media personality, so, so, so fun. Oh my gosh, I love my other courses. I have my six week and my 12 week helping you get Work-Life Balance, helping you to get Six Core Habits, but I gotta tell ya, this one is such a sweet spot for me because it’s really that mastermind of helping you move forward. Write that book, be that speaker, and be that influential media personality, social, so fun. Anyway, any of those things. My free masterclass is, you just check it out, Conniesokol.com
[17:19] Any questions? You just let me know there as always, you can find me on every major social media. Connect with me. I want to hear, I want to connect with you. That’s my happy place. Besides my wonderful little family, that’s my happy spot. So check it out and as always, make this your year to get Balanced, reDefined.