I want to talk about…waiting.
A few months ago out of the blue, I needed to deal with something extremely difficult. Something that cut me at the emotional knees and made me wonder how I would get through it.
Thankfully, I felt a tangible-intangible help from above: a ribbon of clarity, healing, help, and guidance that wove itself throughout the days.
With this help, I was able to be present, to be given understanding, and even words and knowledge of what to do in the very moment I needed it, for myself and for others.
Over the weeks this divine buoying continued. As the situation came to a sort of closure and I could feel that the difficult leg of that lap was passed. I took a deep breath and got ready to return to things needing my focus.
Only my body wouldn’t let me. In one slow descending motion from my head to my toe, I started to shut down. My body and soul basically said, Yes, you’ve been sustained, and now, we need to catch up. So just get comfy.
For two weeks I did nothing but the essentials #okaymomessentialsarealot such as family, helping program women, my calling, etc. And then I wore PJs and rested. All afternoon. Then more family. Then back to soup and sandwich for dinner.
My mind was on hiatus. Except for scripture, I couldn’t read books #tortureoftheacutestkind I binge-watched Howard’s End and Season 1 of Victoria. I re-binged When Calls the Heart. I napped and did a few dishes and then napped again.
Usually, with trust in God and a good yoga session, I can make myself push through anything. But this was different. It was out of my hands and all about WAITING. Just waiting until it was finished.
And then, finally, last week something magical happened. Just as suddenly, I woke up, and a physical breath of air washed over and through me. And I was back. Just like that.
Two things came very clearly to me through this experience.
First, when we need to process, we need to process. However inconvenient or annoying, let it come. Let it surface. Let it work itself out by acknowledging, responding, and being in the moment. Allow grace and goodness and a soft duvet comforter to be your friends. Allow it to move through and beyond you, and be grateful for the experience.
Second, systems work. During this time I don’t think anyone noticed a significant difference. All the home systems–laundry, tidying, dishes, bills, etc.– generally worked well #okaythechristmastreeistillupbutnoornaments
My business systems functioned, and I could step away without worry. All relationship, spiritual, and personal systems functioned–I ministered, attended the temple, connected with friends, loved my kids. With His generosity, I asked for and received additional, needed blessings to fill the gaps.
The essential point is this…purpose, organization, and joy work. Though this has been my mantra for years, it was indelibly inked into my soul. This powerful trio is not just a fluffy thought or a “I should do that” good idea.
It’s powerful, it’s life-sustaining, and it works.
Now, I’m back, and better due to subtle shifts from the learning. He has springboarded me in powerful ways I will share in future posts.
But what I hope you’ll feel is how much women need to listen to their soul. When to do or not to do; when to speak or stay quiet; when to go for it and when to wait upon the Lord.