Matthew 26:39
“39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”
To me, this is one of the most poignant passages in all of scripture. This wonderful, righteous, dutiful Son has a terrible commission to fulfill. And wants to, but has an awareness of how excruciating this will be. I’m so grateful that He allowed us see into this deeply private moment that even He, the Son of God, the most obedient and willing person to ever live, did not want to do this thing.
But He did.
As I look back on my life, it seems that the most pivotal, most life-changing experiences where the times I finally submitted to what was right. Changing my lifelong dream of broadcasting to a teaching major; homeschooling my Asperger’s son; having a baby at 46. These and other decisions, though I’m sure there should have been many more, didn’t look particularly appealing at the time, or made me feel downright defiant. And yet, it was taking that sometimes horrible step, that opening of the soul in faith, that led to later blessings and joy.
I have come to feel that something isn’t deep submission unless, however right the thing before you is, a part of you really, truly doesn’t want to do it. And yet, you do.
I read an excerpt from Arthur Miller’s play, “After the Fall,” where one of the characters says:
“I tried to die near the end of the war. The same dream returned to me each night…I dreamed I had a child. And even in the dream I felt that the child was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away from it…until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever was in it that was my own, perhaps I could sleep again. And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible. But I kissed it. I think, Quentin, one must finally take one’s life into one’s own arms, and kiss it.”
In each of our lives there are choices, situations, or experiences that we need to submit to, whether through acceptance, change, or compassion. But in the submitting, we’ll find the greater good and more lasting joy that we ultimately seek.
How can you better submit to something that is right but that feels too difficult?
Merry Christmas,
Connie
