Having a “Loser Moment”? 5 Steps to Escape the “Less-Than” Vortex

Alert: vulnerability and MAJOR LIFE RANT post…

Ok, I don’t usually share these kinds of experiences like this, but today, THIS ONE was for the books.😱

I don’t get on social media much but saw a post of a friend who had been spotlighted as one of the women who crushed it in 2018. I love this friend and felt like, yesss, she was getting a much-deserved kudos. I clicked on the article and started reading.😀

So, you know me. You know I LOVE good women doing amazing things, I’ve even been nicknamed “a woman’s cheerleader” (*breathless proving*). It’s clearly, officially, with-a-title, noted that I love to celebrate fabulous women. 🎉
So I start reading the post, actually smiling, and filled with joy and buttercups and then IT HIT. By woman #5, I start feeling this wave of yuck–like I was, in fact, a TOTAL, COMPLETE LOSER. Not just your usual, wow, they’re amazing, and…I’m not. But this overwhelming, you’re so LAME, you don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t even know tech AT ALL, and by the way, what DID you do in 2018, Connie? 🤔

You know those moments when in ONE INSTANT you went from feeling healthy, disciplined, spiritually in tune, loving, and let’s rock this new year to suddenly, where’s my Ritter chocolate bar? Who needs to workout? You know, I could be sleeping this year, who NEEDS this. 😣

I can’t even express the reality of this feeling. Yeah I’ve had them before (about every three months or when we’re doing a new project) but this was so intense and REAL.

Thankfully, a thought came…

In business this year, while raising four children and keeping my focus on family first…HUGE JOB RIGHT THERE…I rebranded my entire business w/new website, pictures (do you KNOW the choreography for that alone??), systems and set up; Created an interfaith women’s even with 600 attendees, with mini conference version (sold out) and created a non-profit organization from it with an incredible board of amazing women; Created a lifelong dream of my 12-week online program; Started a new podcast; hired a new, amazing core team for my company🤪
That’s just on the biz side. Let’s see about the personal side shall we? #letstalktruthpeople

Successfully helped my children flourish through post-divorce with coping skills, beautiful experiences, homework and life help, and mamma I’m-right-here-for-you love and KEEPING IT TOGETHER PERSONALLY (most days); Helped my daughter graduate from high school with honors, secure scholarships and college acceptance, fulfill a nannying experience in France, helped her prepare for a mission call (which she just received to France!)

DID I MENTION DURING ALL THESE MEALS ON THE TABLE, ENDLESS ERRANDS, DANCE COMPETITIONS, READING IN THE CLASSROOM, ET AL????😅

Successfully dealt with being evacuated from our home for the #1 FIRE IN THE NATION and WITHOUT USE OF CHOCOLATE OR BINGE-WATCHING ANYTHING 🏆

Took my children to serve at the A Child’s Hope orphanage in Mexico, DRIVING there and back as a single mom, and all things working to a beautiful life-changing experience.

I share the above for one reason only. IN THAT SOUL-DEBILITATING MOMENT OF LOSER-FEELING, I LITERALLY BELIEVED I HAD DONE NOTHING OF VALUE THIS PAST YEAR.

What the HEY.

How is it possible, especially that I teach this to women, that I could let this happen–I GOT SUCKED INTO THE LESS-THAN VORTEX.

And it took less than five minutes.

So my point today women is this: be prepared for it, because it will come. It doesn’t matter if you’re the most amazing woman on the planet (you likely are), you will have that sneaky, unsuspecting moment that hits you like a ton of chocolate bricks and you will feel LESS THAN, LOSER, WHY BOTHER, WHAT I DO DOESN’T MATTER, EVERYONE ELSE HAS IT TOGETHER kind of feeling and it will seem SO REAL.

Do. Not. Get. Sucked. In.

Instead, try one of these–which is EXACTLY what I had to do.
1. Stop doing what you’re doing. Say/shout/stomp out loud, “I am a daughter of God, I am loved, and I am of infinite worth.” [Add, “So BACK OFF” if that also helps…]
2. Go back to truth. Pray from your gut with your Father in Heaven, read scriptures, talk with a wise friend, do whatever it takes for you to get to a truthful place.
3. List what you’ve done and who you’ve become. This is NOT about proving your value. This is to do what is one of the most frequent commandments in scripture–REMEMBER. We are to remember who we are and what we’ve experienced and what we are yet to do to fulfill our personal purpose.
4. Express gratitude. Just start, no rhyme or reason, just express gratitude for the people, experiences, things, hilarities, mundanity of life, whatever comes to your mind kind of stuff. This makes ALL the difference.
5. Write a really, really, really long ranty kind of post.

If you’ve stayed through to the end of this, add it to your What I did in 2018 list, it was a milestone.

The helpful list above is by no means exhaustive–you will have your best solutions discovered in your Loser Moment Vortex that I’m so hoping you will share with us for when it hits next.

Meanwhile, I will leave you with one more clear thought that came and shifted everything. It started with this about all women: You ARE doing what matters most. You ARE valued and you ARE a woman of incredible, divine, and infinite worth. Every bit of drool, diapers, dishes, and drama you deal with MATTERS and makes your family and this world a better place. NEVER doubt that. Just because society makes you feel you need thousands of likes, millions of subscribers, or perpetual posts of amazingness, DO NOT GET SUCKED IN. With wisdom, steadiness, and focus on truth, move forward each day with love, laughter, and light.

Which finally culminated in this last ONE thought….
That’s right, ONE THOUGHT TO RULE THEM ALL…

Do good.

That’s it. Go about doing good. And whatever the outcome is–and it’s different for EVERYONE–rejoice in it. And if one day that involves creating a new program and the next it involves taking a nap with a preschooler, REJOICE. If it means you have discovered the meaning of life or just that you’ve discovered where the missing shoe ended up, REJOICE. Your basic work and glory is to do His good in whatever sphere you’re in. And the greatest glory is to glorify Him in all we do.

And when that sneaky other influence comes prowling around to make you miserable, you stand like a Xena Warrior and know for yourself what is true and what is not, and make it known THAT YOU KNOW.

Do good.
Don’t get sucked in.
Focus on truth.
Share your experience.
Stand like a Xena Warrior.

Back to life with a joyful vengeance…Bring it, 2019.

Loves,
Connie

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